- me watching the Olympics: oh wow, that was impressive!
- announcer: ANOTHER DISASTROUS MISTAKE!
- Dumbledore: Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts!
- Dumbledore: I actually don't know why your parents still send you here
- Dumbledore: There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically
- Dumbledore: And it just goes up every year
- Dumbledore: I guess that just means all your parents hate you
- Dumbledore: Great let's have some pumpkin juice
